Are You Engaging In Self-Sabotage?

One of the biggest obstacles to meeting goals and taking action can be working with and through resistance.

Resistance can be so tricky and can show up in a multitude of forms without even realizing it. You think you are taking action, doing something “productive” or doing something that “needs to get done” but it’s really only self-sabotage.

Maybe working on what is really going to further your goals or your creative project seems too intimidating or too overwhelming. Or maybe you say to yourself “I will get to it later” but it’s later and you didn’t get to it.

So instead of focusing on taking action towards your goals you may focus on:  doing laundry, making a shopping list, cleaning the house, watching television, going out with friends, exercising, making a meal. You get the idea.

You may be thinking to yourself “but those are things that I need to do!” and yes, they are but are you doing them at the expense of meeting your goals? Are you doing them in the middle of the day or at odd times when you could be working on your creative projects? How is your resistance consciously or unconsciously undermining what you want to create in your life?

Another form of resistance (aka-self-sabotage)  is not saying yes to what is truly important in your life and saying yes to everything and everyone outside of yourself first. Then you will be “busy” and not have any time to focus on what you said you wanted to create.

Maybe you are “busy”. That seems to be every persons favorite phrase, “I am too busy, I don’t have enough time!” We have a choice about how busy we want to be, what we say yes to and what we say no to. We also have choices about how we spend, structure and relate to time. Everyone has 24 hours in a day. How you choose to utilize your time is ultimately up to you.

This is one of the reasons why resistance can be so tricky to work with and through.  By being “busy” you may feel good temporarily because you have a lot going on and your feeling productive. You may feel good that you are helping other people but at what expense in the long run?

It does not mean that you cannot help others and feel productive but inevitably do you find yourself feeling worse because you haven’t done the things you said you were going to do for you?

It’s simply more cover up tactics, an illusion that you are “taking action”. However  it’s not action to further your goals and creative projects, it’s just filler to avoid the commitment you made to yourself.

I would like to ask if you can you be mindful and pay attention to the difference between taking action to further your goals vs. taking action in the form of resistance to sabotage your dreams?

When you do notice the difference, what action do you choose to take out of that insight?

I’d love to know. Please leave a comment.

Comments

  1. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, or tricky to catch myself at the avoidance, but checking in with my goal list, and a coach, helps keep me on track. Actually, a coach is the most helpful!

    • I can relate that it can be tricky to catch and I agree that having a list is such a good way to check in and of course having the accountability and support of a coach. Thanks for sharing Sara! Dolly

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